I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
