Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
