Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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