My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
