Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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