It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
