Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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