i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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