Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize