I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
