It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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