I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
