your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
