grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
