Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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