i just wanna soil my oats bro
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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