Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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