he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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