this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
