Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
