im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
