New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
