Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
