when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
