what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
