remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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