She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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