Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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