Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
