Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize