Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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