Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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