I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
