Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
