I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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