Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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