y did u give ur computer a hand job?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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