Dual....:-)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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