A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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