he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
