Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
