i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
