..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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