Define "chronic" masturbator.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
