just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
