so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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