If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
