So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
