come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
