Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
