My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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