It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
