just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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