Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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