We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
