i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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