Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
