You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
