Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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