I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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