I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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