i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
