Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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