i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
time to smoke my breakfast
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
