At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My bed smells like the plague
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
