We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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