There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
