adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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