Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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