We're facebook friends in real life
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
