got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
