i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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