I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
