We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize