marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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