I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
