is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
