Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
