i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
