How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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