Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
50% drunk capacity currently
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
