hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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